Addict

[LiteraryAntiquity]

Let me first say that this isn't my cup of tea. I respect what went into it, but it's very prosey, and seems more like an obscured short story. Lines like

"Am I witty for being serious
in the midst of riddles? "
(Tries a little too hard to sound poetic)

"It's nothing but misery, doom, gloom and tragedy
in this laugh-induced fight. "
(Abstract, lots of filler words. Laugh-induced? Huh?)

"Or maybe, we just think Paris Hilton really wants to be our BFF. It seems so much more appealing stoned.
Say goodbye to beauty as you become succumb to the beautiful - Carter
and his tabloid lies. "

(Dry, with loads of abstractions ((cliche abstractions, such as beautiful)) Also, huh?)

Back here, when my stoned tales have ended, we are all watching from a Television set
into your homes of paranoia-
(Very "tell" as opposed to "show". Homes of paranoia doesn't cut it for me. I'd rather be given some imagery, or something with a little more "spark"

I just think poetry should be a bit more...condensed. Brevity is key, and having a concrete, quick-to-the-punch surface helps, too.

That's my feedback. Hope I didn't sound harsh.

Absolutely, to some of it I agree the confusion I tried to impliment due to the confusion of being 'high'. I will try to attempt a rewrite and see what you think, thanks Law'