02-07-2011, 07:47 PM
You've got a knack for whimsical verse, and you can tell a nice story without too much effort.
The ONE thing I found distracting, my sole issue are the adjectives:
White
Generic.
I just think that these could be replaced with some verbs or nouns, as they don't seem essential (JMO)
The rest is great. Storytelling really is your forte.
The ONE thing I found distracting, my sole issue are the adjectives:
White
Generic.
I just think that these could be replaced with some verbs or nouns, as they don't seem essential (JMO)
The rest is great. Storytelling really is your forte.