Money didn't impress her

[Lawrence]

The rhymes are alright, but perhaps incorporate some rhythm?
"I told her she was beautiful and sensual and very smart."
Lines like this need a little more flair, in my opinion.

In fact, besides the rhymes, what's the difference between this and prose?

Thanks

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Overall, a cute story that is very picturesque. Iambic pentameter might make it shine ever more.