Fruit And Veg Don’t Make Me Cry

[waitingforgodet]

Lemons don’t make me cry
they just force a citrus tear.
Onions don’t make cry either
they just force my optics to leak.
You make me cry.

Billy, I like the idea of comparing vegetables with symptoms of sadness and pain--never thought of that. The last line, of course, is the punch of the entire poem, but I think the poem should be longer, perhaps three or four verses. And use a rhyme scheme. Also, I would stick with vegetables--lemons have never made me cry--but onions have, of course. And hot chile peppers--I made a stew the other night and used hot peppers and my eyes were tearing as I cut them up.

Onions still bring on the tears
as they have for so many years.

chile peppers do
and jalapeno too.

there are others as well
from the hot garden of hell

that make my optics leak
and my vision weak

but when you said good bye
you made me cry.


I know I've rewritten your poem--sorry--perhaps it is jack's influence. Seriously, though, I think you have a great idea juxtaposing what we eat with human suffering--jim