01-23-2011, 06:11 PM
This is fantastically clever, especially with that great title that did not let me know what to expect LOL.
Just a correction on line 10: "...indistinguishable from (the) each other...". I find that your lines are real gems, and would not suffer from a reduction here and there to improve flow and pack more punch in less. Personally I liked the repetition in the last line, only because it reminded me of the song "let it snow, let it snow" LOL
. Perhaps that's just me.
Thanks for sharing this!
Just a correction on line 10: "...indistinguishable from (the) each other...". I find that your lines are real gems, and would not suffer from a reduction here and there to improve flow and pack more punch in less. Personally I liked the repetition in the last line, only because it reminded me of the song "let it snow, let it snow" LOL
. Perhaps that's just me.Thanks for sharing this!
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?