Observations of the Chief Medical Examiner (Revision 2)

[billy]

Naked as a whisper
a confession
you strain to catch— good opening 3 lines
secrets scraped
from the skin beneath
her nails, the red
stippling across the shoulders.would the above three lines read better as 'from beneath fingernails, red stippling across her shoulders'? with enjambment of course.

Found behind the school
laid bare
like that nightmare test good 3 lines.
you forgot
in the class
you didn’t attend,
noticing that you aren’t
wearing clothes nice simile

It’s the exposure is 'the' needed?
punctuated by flies
on the dying is 'the needed' would grass work better on this line?
grass. A smile turned
feral leaving love the last 4 words.
tiny kisses on the skin
to be uncovered
by my hands.

i think the last stanza excellent. and 'a smile turned feral' is one of the best lines i've ever read. for me the 2nd stanza could and would make the poem stronger of it were little darker. while the simile works it feels drawn out. that said, it's a keeper for me. good write.

thanks for the read Todd.