01-08-2011, 06:18 PM
Thank you very much for your kind words and feedback, Lawrence. I will use your suggestions once I've finished this. As for the "send you on your way" line, that's an example of me being functional rather than poetic. I like seeing such phrases as the nuts and bolts of a poem, keeping the better elements aloft and tying them together. Still, I take your point, and will definitely consider how I can change it.
Thank you again for your very kind words
EDIT: I've changed the razor simile you mentioned to "rusted car bonnet." Is that any good?
Thank you again for your very kind words
EDIT: I've changed the razor simile you mentioned to "rusted car bonnet." Is that any good?
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe