Hi Billy,
Echoing Jack's comments on full stops. The last two lines are brilliant. I really dislike pain being used. It could just be me but I hate the abstraction of it. I would almost rather see some mystery and substitute it with "what".
That said, I do really like this though.
Best,
Todd
Echoing Jack's comments on full stops. The last two lines are brilliant. I really dislike pain being used. It could just be me but I hate the abstraction of it. I would almost rather see some mystery and substitute it with "what".
That said, I do really like this though.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson