A Poem For My Private Parts

[billy]

I have exploded again.
Leaking my fluids, I stifle a scream,
as my skull hits the headboard [this line is my fave for some odd reason]
and my fingers become lost [i hope you mean metaphorically ]
in the forest of my pubic hair,
beset by the useless teenage seed
I was warned against using on comely lasses.

I am running, I am running,
towards a point of light [for me it's not original and needs a modifyer to lift it]
not far from here, somewhere in the distance,
a flashlight in a dark classroom,
after school has finished. I never reach it.
The book always ends with me still running,
an ellipses at the end of the page,
and then the Author's Note,
beneath a picture of a boy sighing,
wiping himself down with his sleeve,
and dreaming of violation, control.
Romance through dominance. [this verse for me is a poem in it's own right/write, excellent]

And now the falling backwards.
The blue walls like receptionists
who take your new prescription,
stamp it, and then send you on your way. [a curisor 4 lines but i like them]
The pale morning sunshine slices
my face like a shaving razor. [is there any other kind.]
I've bled the dream out through my genitals. [i love this line which on 2nd thought is also my fave]
And now the stale smell of yesterday's dinner,
dumped in a sack on my bed's upper bunk
(my father's a terrible cook) returns,
choking me with its grey realism, [would the 'my father' quote work best after realism?]
its lack of come and purple thoughts.

quite an episode. unlike the watered up oransms in many poems this one has a tint of the sad sublime with a hint of a smile (the one line 3 gave me,) i felt the poem on the whole a good one the 2nd stanza for me stood apart and could as i previously said been a really good poem in it's own standing. jmo

thanks for the read jack. as busy as hell at the moment but will post more on monday .