Muninn REV 11-25-12

[billy]

Revision

The world did not start in steps of ice.
I remember the long night,
as a pin-prick of fire, that didn’t cease
burning in an ever expanding corkscrew:
You were not there.

I am the grift behind your secret
omniscience, the truth
of your ruined face, this pretension
and prayer, the ego
of unmerited godhead. [for me it feels much better this way]

Joined in this unkindness,
I have tasted the slave song,
grasped the limp hand of the stillborn.
Yet, my words are not flint to strike sparks
against the hanged god’s ear.

So like murder: a black flutter,
tiny footsteps of regret.
There is an eye under the water
that I would pluck out
to avoid this pointless journey.

I see your excitement and can only
echo it. The buildings rise
and fall. The stories drone
around your unlit hearth of tradition—
kindling from the damned tree.

It frightens you to hear their prayers,
when I am the final outcome.
The stars remain cold,
and all your sons die.
I alone remain to stir the ashes. [i think this verse is much stronger with the change in the first line. as for the last line, only you can really know what you feel about it. it doesn't spoil the poem but for me it doesn't really add anything per say]

a small but well done edit.