First Kiss (Revision)

First Kiss (Revision)

Todd Offline

Empty Suit

Posts: 2,359
Threads: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

12-03-2010, 06:54 AM (This post was last modified: 12-03-2010, 07:06 AM by Todd.)

Yeah Billy I see what you mean about the enjambment and I agree with you on converting the crow simile to metaphor. Thank you.

I'll make some changes on revision.

Best,

Todd

I made some revisions from Billy's comments.

The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson

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Messages In This Thread

First Kiss (Revision) - by Todd - 12-01-2010, 07:51 AM

RE: First Kiss - by billy - 12-01-2010, 08:58 AM

RE: First Kiss - by Todd - 12-03-2010, 06:54 AM

RE: First Kiss (Revision) - by billy - 12-03-2010, 08:58 AM

RE: First Kiss (Revision) - by addy - 12-03-2010, 01:18 PM

RE: First Kiss (Revision) - by digna_sofia - 12-04-2010, 01:20 PM

RE: First Kiss (Revision) - by Lawrence - 12-06-2010, 02:50 PM

RE: First Kiss (Revision) - by Todd - 12-07-2010, 11:35 PM

RE: First Kiss (Revision) - by billy - 12-09-2010, 09:29 AM

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