Thought
#2
(11-26-2010, 10:37 AM)xXxForbiddenLovexXx Wrote:  Have you ever wondered,
About what goes through my mind?

The thoughts of a 13 year old,
Suspicion crosses every time.

The words you'd never think of,
They sometimes run across.

I think they would surprise you,
The things that I would know.

My mind is poisoned with thoughts,
The ones you would you should live. [needs rearranging]

I know too much, the stressful things,
I think of the worst everyday.

I shouldn't know most of this,
These frightful fears shouldn't be thought.

Oh trust me, my friends.
I know a too much.

I have a mind of a woman,
Inside a young girls body.

(Yes, I'm 13. I know a lot about the world, and how terrible it can be.)
for me it needs some imagery FL, and
a little less cliché. the last line has some irony but it needs the rest to be stronger in order for it to work.

thanks for the read.
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Messages In This Thread
Thought - by xXxForbiddenLovexXx - 11-26-2010, 10:37 AM
RE: Thought - by billy - 11-26-2010, 11:46 AM
RE: Thought - by Gilberte - 03-10-2014, 11:00 AM
RE: Thought - by JustifiedCandy - 03-10-2014, 04:57 PM
RE: Thought - by ChristopherSea - 03-10-2014, 08:27 PM
RE: Thought - by jeremyyoung - 03-10-2014, 11:15 PM



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