11-24-2010, 10:31 PM
Wow!
I think that packs a lot of tension, and hits you harder as you read through it. I like what you changed. I like what you kept. You will always have a better sense on rewrites than any reader on what is indispensible. The mental asylum angle is good I like it very much; it explains the door. I did something recently putting Alice in Wonderland in a mental asylum (it's fun to terrorize these characters like this). This is really well done.
Best,
Todd
I think that packs a lot of tension, and hits you harder as you read through it. I like what you changed. I like what you kept. You will always have a better sense on rewrites than any reader on what is indispensible. The mental asylum angle is good I like it very much; it explains the door. I did something recently putting Alice in Wonderland in a mental asylum (it's fun to terrorize these characters like this). This is really well done.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson