11-21-2010, 05:37 AM
Thank you for the feedback, Billy
The last two lines were perfunctory; they needed to be there, as you said, even if they aren't very strong. I was almost afraid of expanding on them in case the piece descended into self-pity.
I'll try and expand on the Nathan segment; I forgot that not everyone knows my friends
Yeah, this is a rant poem haha, and probably a wee bit hypocritical, but I think it's better than many of my rant pieces (which isn't saying much; rage in poetry is far from my forte; I can rarely control and manipulate such aggressive emotions). The idea for it came when I read yet another comment comparing me to Bukowski, saying I share his vision, a comment which I think misses the point of both Bukowski's and my work.
Edited
The last two lines were perfunctory; they needed to be there, as you said, even if they aren't very strong. I was almost afraid of expanding on them in case the piece descended into self-pity.I'll try and expand on the Nathan segment; I forgot that not everyone knows my friends
Yeah, this is a rant poem haha, and probably a wee bit hypocritical, but I think it's better than many of my rant pieces (which isn't saying much; rage in poetry is far from my forte; I can rarely control and manipulate such aggressive emotions). The idea for it came when I read yet another comment comparing me to Bukowski, saying I share his vision, a comment which I think misses the point of both Bukowski's and my work.
Edited
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe