11-21-2010, 03:14 AM
A lot of great dark comedy here; the opening couplet made me laugh, and displays a sophisticated wit. The "cars" simile was inventive, though I'm not sure you need the "little" prefix. The rhyme scheme sounds contrived at times, but I don't think that that's a bad thing; this reads like an intelligent, perceptive parody of substance abuse literature, and that gives you top marks for sheer uniqueness alone.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe