11-18-2010, 06:54 AM
Thanks for your feedback, Todd
I REALLY like your list idea, but I feel it would defeat the object of those lines; I was trying to show how, in spite of my disordered mind, the arrival of money helped me establish some order. (That makes sense to me haha). Like I said, though, I really like that idea, and if you don't mind, I may use it for another poem.
I think I agree with your comments about "writhing" and "a lot of things"; I'll make an edit once I've finished this.
Thanks again for the feedback, and also your kind words
I REALLY like your list idea, but I feel it would defeat the object of those lines; I was trying to show how, in spite of my disordered mind, the arrival of money helped me establish some order. (That makes sense to me haha). Like I said, though, I really like that idea, and if you don't mind, I may use it for another poem.
I think I agree with your comments about "writhing" and "a lot of things"; I'll make an edit once I've finished this.
Thanks again for the feedback, and also your kind words
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe