11-17-2010, 01:59 AM
Woah, suddenly Hes enters combat mode.
I personally like the last stanza, although he DID catch something I missed....
"I think you sacrificed cohesion in order to create a rhyme here, a cardinal sin in my book. Also, like with the last line of the first verse, this seems too elongated."
I concur.
I personally like the last stanza, although he DID catch something I missed....
"I think you sacrificed cohesion in order to create a rhyme here, a cardinal sin in my book. Also, like with the last line of the first verse, this seems too elongated."
I concur.