The Red Balloon (Revision Formerly: What Must Come)
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The Red Balloon (Revision Formerly: What Must Come)
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11-16-2010, 08:29 AM
Made some large revisions, changed the title. I agreed with Billy's comments to get to the action sooner I had eliminated the lines
as it has from every child ever born. But put them back in when I didn't think it was conveying enough. Better? Worse?
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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The Red Balloon (Revision Formerly: What Must Come) - by Todd - 10-18-2010, 06:02 AM
RE: What Must Come - by billy - 10-18-2010, 09:48 AM
RE: What Must Come - by Todd - 10-18-2010, 10:14 AM
RE: What Must Come - by billy - 10-19-2010, 11:32 AM
RE: What Must Come - by Todd - 10-19-2010, 12:09 PM
RE: What Must Come - by lizzyrose12 - 10-20-2010, 08:33 AM
RE: What Must Come - by Todd - 10-20-2010, 10:36 AM
RE: The Red Balloon (Revision Formerly: What Must Come) - by Todd - 11-16-2010, 08:29 AM
RE: The Red Balloon (Revision Formerly: What Must Come) - by billy - 11-16-2010, 09:14 AM
RE: The Red Balloon (Revision Formerly: What Must Come) - by Todd - 11-16-2010, 10:53 AM
RE: The Red Balloon (Revision Formerly: What Must Come) - by billy - 11-16-2010, 12:56 PM
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