11-16-2010, 08:29 AM
Made some large revisions, changed the title. I agreed with Billy's comments to get to the action sooner I had eliminated the lines
as it has from every child
ever born.
But put them back in when I didn't think it was conveying enough. Better? Worse?
as it has from every child
ever born.
But put them back in when I didn't think it was conveying enough. Better? Worse?
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
