11-15-2010, 03:33 PM
If it could be considered at all a critique, I found it too short and want more. The setup was really good, though i still wanted something between the second and third stanza where I could further relish the them and the contrasts it elicits, broadening the story further. But it's excellent, and the closing lines were pitch perfect 
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?