Inhale/Exhale

[heslopian]

This is the best amateur poem I've read for a long time. Kind of reminds me of some verses in Richard Siken's collection Crush, mostly, I think, because of the present tense, the second person narrative, and how this is more a string of images, used to illustrate one or two emotions, rather than a story. The sole, pathetically minor fault that I can find is that, in the penultimate stanza, you misspell "heroine," forgetting the e. I can't really pick a favourite line or break down the poem as Todd did, because I love every single sentence, every last metaphor and simile. Astonishingly good.