way stronger todd.
my only nit with this one is;
with their store-bought illusions. is their necessary.
for me it reads a lot better and feels deeper. again, for me it looks more polished as a write.
i have to admit to not seeing the s and m side to the piece till i saw it in a comment.
i think when a poem works like that (on more than one level it's already achieved something special)
ifor me i see the exhibitionism in the man the need to be the best and the need to show it's so.
the s and m adds a whole new perspective for me and one i'm glad was mentioned.
the thing is what do you think.
it definitely gets the thumbs up from me.
just to show that i'm not blindly following another's comment. i also read the title
i am often a bugger for not reading the title. a device you use so well.
my only nit with this one is;
with their store-bought illusions. is their necessary.
for me it reads a lot better and feels deeper. again, for me it looks more polished as a write.
i have to admit to not seeing the s and m side to the piece till i saw it in a comment.
i think when a poem works like that (on more than one level it's already achieved something special)
ifor me i see the exhibitionism in the man the need to be the best and the need to show it's so.
the s and m adds a whole new perspective for me and one i'm glad was mentioned.
the thing is what do you think.
it definitely gets the thumbs up from me.
just to show that i'm not blindly following another's comment. i also read the title
i am often a bugger for not reading the title. a device you use so well.