The Amazing Sexual Exploits of Harry Houdini (Revision)

[billy]

He liked to be handcuffed—
and not with those
fuzzy pink novelties
sold near tattoo parlors.

He liked the ones that bite
against the wrists,
the exquisite challenge
of something like helplessness.

the first 2 stanza haven't been changed. which is good because they set the poem up and also play off each other.

There was of course the foreplay
of card tricks,
the predictable patterns
of other men.

the edit here works though i would like to see something else instead of men

Old pleasure is a faded stage
bouquet of plastic flowers,
a dehydrated dove.
Without risk, it is unsatisfying.
Remember,
magic is misdirection.

remember in the penultimate line feels a little flat and unnecessary.
the last line feels like it needs an umph. (the art of or something )

Showing off a new spectacle,
suspended upside down,
bound and lowered
into the dark

dark again feels too generic. for me it needs to be a word or words with power. the next stanza could begin of water in order to accommodate

water. Each second
like the pulse of a metronome,
the faint ripple of eternity.

this stanza works really well

Escape while possible,
is seldom desirable—
not the same as release.

so does this one

Any amateur could perform
in private.
The thrill was in being
before an audience exposed.

this stanza works a lot better here and the cut you made in the preceding stanza, makes the piece ten times more accessible and readable as a good poem. it's also better without the couplet.

~~~

(This is my first edit from the poetry practice exercise).

all jmo. for a first edit i think it's extremely good. for me it doesn't need that much to make it a finished article. thanks for the read todd.

i almost forgot to say. i enjoyed the theme of this one. the need to be the bast you can be in front others. the need to shine.