~Memories Of A Fathers Daughter~ (Age 8)

[ficosdarkness]

Written by: ficosdarkness
On: October 10,2010
This is my very first poem. It is a true story...

first off, by saying it's a true story stops me being impartial to the poems
quality and i think it's the same for many readers.
once we're told it's true we tend to just go awwww and actually forget about
how it's written. we want to go awww without being prodded.
written by ficosdarkness oct 10, 2010. is good enough.

full of emotion. for a first poem it's excellent. some good images, some good powerful lines.
it has a fair bit of cliche for me but for a beginner this is a wowser. it has depth,
the end rhymes work well. and there's a lot of internal rhythm that helps the poem flow.
in need of a good edit but if this were my first poem i'd be over the moon. well done.

that said about the edit. i think as it was your first poem i'd leave it as it is. try and use
it to gauge your new poems against. see where you start and how you developed
and also have good first poem to look back on.

thanks for the read

Thank you again Billy, for your encouragement. A quick edit to polish "him" up and onward I go! This has now become my gauge.