10-25-2010, 08:55 AM
and then we shuffle from this mortal coil.
i would have liked there to a couplet at the first line but never mind
what comes after the singular line makes up for it. a little too telly in places
and not enough show. (i love saying that
) but it doesn't matter as the couplets carry us (the reader along)
at a pace quick enough to forget.
some of the lines are pearls (in bold)
on the whole a really good poem about whats in store (i think
)
i would have liked there to a couplet at the first line but never mind

what comes after the singular line makes up for it. a little too telly in places
and not enough show. (i love saying that
) but it doesn't matter as the couplets carry us (the reader along)at a pace quick enough to forget.
some of the lines are pearls (in bold)
on the whole a really good poem about whats in store (i think
)Quote:There is no bright light to travel toward
The stories you’ve been told are wrong;
this is no mild passage
to golden streets—there is no comfort-
ing metaphor for this state.
The breath escapes,
the body shudders, exhales
Life unzips like an old coat,
discarded
Memories drown in the river.
facts remain this one feels a little cliché
without significance. This is lost to us,
a Lethean draught, irremediable
concealing loves, cares that bind, tying
us to this world, that we may not leave
This woman at my bedside, my wife
presses a damp cloth to my face.
She has become
an actress in an old movie
that I might have watched once.
These recollections form an endless list
of mocking credits rolling
NamesUponNamesUponNames
in this oppressive quiet
ForeverForeverForever
