10-23-2010, 12:37 AM
David Mitchell once said that seeing bad comedy angers him, and seeing the good makes him nervous. I feel the same about poetry, and reading you I feel terrified! You have such a raw gift, evident in the way you create such perfect, scalpel sharp flow and lyrical images without disrupting the syntax. It is the temptation of many poets (including myself) to float off and become too baroque, impenetrable and pretentious, but you avoid this trap with startling ease. This bit was perfect, better than a lot of published lines I've read:
This desire: nature’s
airbrush softening the edges
inside a pale amber glow
like a fine mist
of honey.
My only feedback would be that, if I had written this, I would have called it "The Possibility of Wanting," as that second line sums up the meaning of this piece, at least for me.
This desire: nature’s
airbrush softening the edges
inside a pale amber glow
like a fine mist
of honey.
My only feedback would be that, if I had written this, I would have called it "The Possibility of Wanting," as that second line sums up the meaning of this piece, at least for me.