Alice in the Asylum: Psychiatric Transcript (Revision 5)

[Todd]

i get the feel of wonderland,
the dyslexia, the dream, the bandersnatch from the jabberwok, and the cheshire cat. but for me it isn't as concrete as it could be. mainly it feels tell and not show. it feels like alice is renouncing the dream and accepting it as fact. i think it would help if she had solid images to work with. jmo

that said the last verse is perfect.

thanks for the read todd.

Hi Billy,

I appreciate the comments.I'll give them some thought. I read Louise Gluck "Gretel in Darkness" and I've been almost obsessively deconstructing children's stories (everyone needs a hobby )

The idea of Alice being committed and cured was just too tempting to try. "Subject shows aprenhension in front of mirror"

It might make a better short story.

I'll think about your comments as I consider revision.

Thanks Again,

Todd