10-17-2010, 01:54 PM
hehe.
and thats the way to reply when you hate someone else restructuring of your work
i do like it as it is jack.
back to the meter;
10 Re mem ber me not through some shall ow priest,
12 Throw me not to the flames like a big pot of yeast,
14 Don't leave me on a man tel piece be tween two plas tic trees,
13 I want to rest with dig nity, not flut ter in the breeze.
13 De cay is not so terr ible, but re-ass ur ing, friend;
14 To feel my bod y melt a way, no lon ger hurt, or mend,
12 Sounds beau ti ful be yond what this verse can ex press,
14 So lock me in the lov ing earth, and let my soul re gress.
i take back what i said about the meter,
something's is wrong for me but i can't work out where.
maybe because it's not iambic (short long, short long, syls etc)
and thats the way to reply when you hate someone else restructuring of your work
i do like it as it is jack.
back to the meter;
10 Re mem ber me not through some shall ow priest,
12 Throw me not to the flames like a big pot of yeast,
14 Don't leave me on a man tel piece be tween two plas tic trees,
13 I want to rest with dig nity, not flut ter in the breeze.
13 De cay is not so terr ible, but re-ass ur ing, friend;
14 To feel my bod y melt a way, no lon ger hurt, or mend,
12 Sounds beau ti ful be yond what this verse can ex press,
14 So lock me in the lov ing earth, and let my soul re gress.
i take back what i said about the meter,
something's is wrong for me but i can't work out where.
maybe because it's not iambic (short long, short long, syls etc)