10-17-2010, 01:46 PM
The final lines are deeply haunting. A morbid, vaguely perverse, but stunning string of images which resonate and help evoke those past six months. The syntax in these lines confused me a bit:
flash burns on walls etched
radioactive hieroglyphs
of a pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not sure what a good alternative would be. Perhaps put a comma after walls?
Other than that, though, nice poem
flash burns on walls etched
radioactive hieroglyphs
of a pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not sure what a good alternative would be. Perhaps put a comma after walls?
Other than that, though, nice poem