Hi Billy,
Here are some thoughts I had about your poem. I haven't read any of the other comments so anything I'm saying is solely related to your poem.
This is a tough subject to handle. You have to walk the line of allowing the poem to make your point and at the same time pissing a lot of people off who either don't get it, or don't like your treatment of it.
Not that this makes my opinion any better than anyone else's and I'm not discounting others possible strong reactions but having grown up with cerebral palsy (mild case thank god) I understand a lot of dynamic personally that you're bringing up. I wasn't bothered by your approach at all. I thought your images of the chick and the slavering puppy head were extremely good, and I'm glad you opened with imagery so this didn't become too preachy--albeit in an offbeat way.
In fact, I thought you were dead on with imagery and tone through your first three strophes. I really liked how the speaker's voice came across in this poem.
All that said, the ending sort of fell flat for me. I took away from the poem that a physical handicap doesn't mean a menatal deficiency and that the people who should be held up to ridicule are more often those who ridicule others. But it was more like I processed that through an intellectual understanding of what you were saying. I found the ending either too short though or not satisfying enough to give the emotional punch I wanted.
yeah, at least I can still make people laugh
It's ironic and points to what your saying but God dude must be a saint. Maybe that's a reaction someone would have. I just see a best case scenario being: Fuck em they're not worth it...or something with a bit more heat and rage to it. I know that doesn't make the ironic point. Maybe pull the lense back a bit and see these other people walking away with the same type of consideration they gave the spactic ("Now that...that would be fucking funny). I don't know just a thought.
It was a good read. I just wanted more of a payoff.
Best,
Todd
Here are some thoughts I had about your poem. I haven't read any of the other comments so anything I'm saying is solely related to your poem.
This is a tough subject to handle. You have to walk the line of allowing the poem to make your point and at the same time pissing a lot of people off who either don't get it, or don't like your treatment of it.
Not that this makes my opinion any better than anyone else's and I'm not discounting others possible strong reactions but having grown up with cerebral palsy (mild case thank god) I understand a lot of dynamic personally that you're bringing up. I wasn't bothered by your approach at all. I thought your images of the chick and the slavering puppy head were extremely good, and I'm glad you opened with imagery so this didn't become too preachy--albeit in an offbeat way.
In fact, I thought you were dead on with imagery and tone through your first three strophes. I really liked how the speaker's voice came across in this poem.
All that said, the ending sort of fell flat for me. I took away from the poem that a physical handicap doesn't mean a menatal deficiency and that the people who should be held up to ridicule are more often those who ridicule others. But it was more like I processed that through an intellectual understanding of what you were saying. I found the ending either too short though or not satisfying enough to give the emotional punch I wanted.
yeah, at least I can still make people laugh
It's ironic and points to what your saying but God dude must be a saint. Maybe that's a reaction someone would have. I just see a best case scenario being: Fuck em they're not worth it...or something with a bit more heat and rage to it. I know that doesn't make the ironic point. Maybe pull the lense back a bit and see these other people walking away with the same type of consideration they gave the spactic ("Now that...that would be fucking funny). I don't know just a thought.
It was a good read. I just wanted more of a payoff.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson