A poem and a question.

[billy]

In an abandon theatre, is the place
she has come to dance.
Alone in the night, the only light is of the moon,
Still(,) she has no where else to go,
no where else where she can be alone.
So in this dark theatre,
With the scent of decay.
She moves across the floor delicately,
making no sound.
Swaying with (the) nights music,
A ballet of the dark.

Here on this abandon stage,
she moves with feelings of hope and rage.
Dancing side by side with the demons of her mind,
Hand and hand with loneliness.
For it is her best friend.

And just as she is about to finish,
about to take her final bow, the lights go on above.
The theatre which was ripped and torn is now bright(; )and
beautiful as it once was.
And all the seats which once were empty
are now lined with velvet and filled with souls.
Dancing to the sudden symphony of a piano
playing in the corner of the room.
No more must she dance alone,
For this one night she leaves her fears behind,
And dances in the open as her spirit unwinds.

ask as many questions as you like and post as many poems as you like. if you just want to ask a question or two relating to poetry or writing in general, use the poetry forum help section.

now the poem;
for me you should remove anything in bold and add anything in (brackets)
i tried to show how enjambment works (it's your shout as to if it works or not? )
always try and give your poems a title. (they're worth it)
i think this is a delightful poem. moving from sad to happy,
dark to light. it's nostalgic yet ethereal, it's almost as though she needs the moon.
some of the lines are really good, (the underlined ones are my favourites.)
you use some good images lizzy.

try and get your head round the enjambment thing, end the line where a natural pause occurs, often a comma or period will denote the place.

thanks for the read. i enjoyed it.