10-13-2010, 10:51 AM
Thanks for the feedback, Billy
Yeah I struggled with that first line so much, but in the end I couldn't find a better replacement.
The question you picked out is directed at myself, I think. I switched from internal monologue to addressing my stepmum halfway through. Shoddy, I know, but I was going with the flow, and then didn't want to edit, lest the poem fall apart.
Thanks for complimenting that waves image I worried that it might be cliche.
Some users on DU really liked the last line, and said it was the best of the best, so now I'm quite confused
I myself thought it cliche at first, which further complicates matters...
Yeah I struggled with that first line so much, but in the end I couldn't find a better replacement.The question you picked out is directed at myself, I think. I switched from internal monologue to addressing my stepmum halfway through. Shoddy, I know, but I was going with the flow, and then didn't want to edit, lest the poem fall apart.
Thanks for complimenting that waves image
I worried that it might be cliche.Some users on DU really liked the last line, and said it was the best of the best, so now I'm quite confused
I myself thought it cliche at first, which further complicates matters...