One Night by William Marsland.

[billy]

i really want to say what the poem is about but i refuse, if the intent can't be seen then it can't be seen

first off thanks for the critique as always.

Do you really need a comma after "hull"? For me it interrupts the flow.

No

"Splosh, splosh" the waves laugh" seems too cliche and elongated. I would have put something like "The waves, they laugh, those jackanapes," or some kind of metaphor or simile.

do you think they seem a bit child like?

The syntax, in which you seem to omit connecting words ("pretty prow," for instance, should have a "the" before it) calls to mind John Berryman's Dream Songs. I don't know what I feel about that, whether it looks good or not, so I'll just make the comparison and leave it be.

i agree, though i'd like to make it "a pretty prow (don't want two the's on the same line here)

The enjambment of "small amounts/lift" seems pointless to me, though that's just my opinion. Do you need that comma after "spot"?

i did it that was so as not the two lines beginning with and in that verse, looking at it again it does look a little clunky, and yes your correct; no comma is needed after spot.

For once I like the repetition here; I find it quite jolly and sweet, and "almost wet a vest" is lovely.

you like something, that's always good

Do you need that comma after "breath"?

NO

The line beginning "it doesn't even fill" sounds extremely clunky (IMHO).

yes it does, i'll sort it out

The final two lines are excellent, though. I love the rhyme of "much" and "touch."
thanks, i tried to keep the same rhyme scheme through out, bar the last line.

"Daze" and "days" is a bit cliche.

i tried to be clever

The second line is beautiful; that metaphor is at once familiar and utterly unique. Love the final twist as well, where we learn that the pirate is facing the plank. Reminds me of a Siegfried Sassoon poem, where a soldier happily returns home and discusses his good fortune at being alive, but then we find out that he's missing a leg.
Your endings are always perfect, and thus they make it easy to forget whatever mistakes you've made before. I find that really annoying

reading something good after such a scathing repost makes gush with happiness (beg)

a good piece of feedback jack, i'll use lots of what you point out in an edit.