10-10-2010, 07:40 AM
i think so.
as for
a quick resume of my feedback.
1st one;
good except for the word thusly which for me is archaic (do a dictionary search)
2nd one;
the more robust of the three. still makes think of a woman lost in the church and using it as a crotch, sorry crutch.
the sickness i presumed to be vd or depression. i discounted vd for some reason
3rd one;
the deepest of the three. a poem of fear and resentment about self. the pbovine the past the corridors the mind (i think)
all in all three good snapshots, come vignettes; the fact of this can be found in the title.
as for
Quote:"the church of the blood" was a metaphor for my mother's vagina.i think the word cunt, gave that fact away jack
a quick resume of my feedback.
1st one;
good except for the word thusly which for me is archaic (do a dictionary search)
2nd one;
the more robust of the three. still makes think of a woman lost in the church and using it as a crotch, sorry crutch.
the sickness i presumed to be vd or depression. i discounted vd for some reason
3rd one;
the deepest of the three. a poem of fear and resentment about self. the pbovine the past the corridors the mind (i think)
all in all three good snapshots, come vignettes; the fact of this can be found in the title.