dregs from the subconscious (content warning)

[heslopian]

I

I wish I could have pressed my thumbs
against his pink nipples,
and pushed my knee inside his belly
until I wore it on the cap,
like moss on a stone or a bridal veil.

II

I wake inside my mother's flat
and her head is not a prop
I've placed atop the coffee table.
there is not a knife beneath my sheets
nor have I pissed all over her grave.
she's alive in the next room, in fact.
she's preparing me bacon.

III

I'm in a hotel lobby. My sister's gone.
I'll be blamed for this. The decor's nice,
though, and the lobby is perfectly round,
with blue and yellow spiral shapes.
All I remember now is the panic.
And that the drift from dream to morning
was a long and arduous one.