10-08-2010, 09:33 AM
Ah and I get to see the edit, it's a good poem - wonderful, thanks. I'm just a humble girl but it seems there is a typo... maybe I'm wrong.
>> that eve I was
the only one
using the midnight oxygen,
outside his temporary *** should it be? outside this temporary
home, here on the ledge
facing the sea,
you are writing in the first person, yes? and then you switch to his? when contemplating suicide
the author is the object of the poem right? the one in the poem making the observations, correct?
I really liked your poem.
>> that eve I was
the only one
using the midnight oxygen,
outside his temporary *** should it be? outside this temporary
home, here on the ledge
facing the sea,
you are writing in the first person, yes? and then you switch to his? when contemplating suicide
the author is the object of the poem right? the one in the poem making the observations, correct?
I really liked your poem.
Bianca 