The Ruined Church

[billy]

for me it reads a lot better jack

this sentence has 46 words in it;

The weary floor is now long gone,
and where the dark brown pews once were,
facing the altar like hard faced women,
their expressions sanded down
through years of toil and wifehood,
only grass remains, kept green and fresh
by volunteers, all from the National Trust.

for me it spoils the flow a little

this;

She wears high heels, a torn white dress,
hoop earrings and a lace stocking;
the other one is nowhere near.
Her make-up is smeared and her eyes open wide;
the windowless arches stare back in mourning.

has changed completely with just by changing two words.
now it has a solid end and a good image.

yep, for me it's much better jack.