I Dreamed a Dream
#2
(10-06-2010, 02:24 PM)MarkusSinclair Wrote:  One night I dreamed I had a dream,
an awful fate I'm sure you know.
Awoke in fright of things to come
and crushed it so it could not grow.

How terrible a dream it was,
to dream a dream is nothing short
of war between to evil parts,
an endless struggle, pointless sport.

What dream can stand the test of time?
Can man to dream eternal give
when dream to man no solace brings?
For I'll not live to see it live.

Nor will I die to give it life,
for I must make my own life long.
Like light I pop up on this sphere
and at the speed of dark I'm gone

So no more tempt me with these lies
Begone O' Nightmare, flee you creep.
Leave my bed in peace eternal.
Please leave me to my blissful sleep.
sorry for not getting to it sooner markus.

long and gone in the 4th verse have no rhyme
the rest of the end rhyme is spot on.

Nor will I die to give it life,
for I must make my own life long.
Like light I pop up on this sphere
and at the speed of dark I'm gone;

this and the last are my favourite verse, that feels a little edgar alan poe-ish

it feels a bit archaic. sometimes archaic works specially in a period piece but for me this isn't a period piece, it's modern and so should the language be.

thanks for the read markus as always Wink
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Messages In This Thread
I Dreamed a Dream - by MarkusSinclair - 10-06-2010, 02:24 PM
RE: I Dreamed a Dream - by billy - 10-07-2010, 05:51 AM
RE: I Dreamed a Dream - by addy - 10-08-2010, 09:39 AM
RE: I Dreamed a Dream - by Bianca Alabaster - 10-08-2010, 09:42 AM



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