then grabbed a piece with abundant joy
the meter is one foot too long. not much i know but it throws what is an almost perfectly rhythmical rhyme out of kilter. (line 3, 4th verse. )
the end rhymes are perfect. and apart for that one extra foot it flows really well. i'm not that keen on end rhymes because they often feel forced. in your poem the end rhyme is barely noticeable ( a good thing from my point of view)
it feels a bit lewis carroll like in concept. ( i love lewis carroll).
for me this a really fun write. it just leads you from one verse to the next. the reader knows they won't get an answer and at the last line he does, sort of.
i've read it about five times now and each time it grows more readable.
good job markus.
your avatar suites the poem though it is a painters and not a poets
the meter is one foot too long. not much i know but it throws what is an almost perfectly rhythmical rhyme out of kilter. (line 3, 4th verse. )
the end rhymes are perfect. and apart for that one extra foot it flows really well. i'm not that keen on end rhymes because they often feel forced. in your poem the end rhyme is barely noticeable ( a good thing from my point of view)
it feels a bit lewis carroll like in concept. ( i love lewis carroll).
for me this a really fun write. it just leads you from one verse to the next. the reader knows they won't get an answer and at the last line he does, sort of.
i've read it about five times now and each time it grows more readable.
good job markus.
your avatar suites the poem though it is a painters and not a poets