10-02-2010, 11:47 PM
Good evocation of sadness. I'm not sure this line was grammatically correct: "Many streaming/rivers tumult down/the window." I don't think "tumult" is a verb. I liked this verse a lot:
"Not all the rain drops
pouring over the car
not all the rain
running down the street
not all the rain
gathered in the puddles!
compares to my sorrow."
The exclamation mark was a bit extraneous, though other than that this was a moving, powerful stanza, with vivid imagery.
On the whole, a good poem; not stunningly original, but sad and insightful and true, related with a certainty of vision that some should envy.
"Not all the rain drops
pouring over the car
not all the rain
running down the street
not all the rain
gathered in the puddles!
compares to my sorrow."
The exclamation mark was a bit extraneous, though other than that this was a moving, powerful stanza, with vivid imagery.
On the whole, a good poem; not stunningly original, but sad and insightful and true, related with a certainty of vision that some should envy.