Better Than Beans On Toast.

[addy]

Exclent form as usual . And I likethe rolling quality of this, kinda like beat poetry.

Better Than Beans On Toast.

Lewd, screwed and imbued.
Filled with what the fuck was that;
drugs, and snake-charmers hugs in spoiled foil Like this linefucks them over, hypnotize the despise
into lies, beyond mascara laden cries.
Sucking, fucking. Who the fuck’s looking
at pustules pissing puss and blood?
Track-marks float, skin-septic spokes,
choked veins strained and screaming,
tortured, steaming, fucked yet gleaming eyed.
The needle piercing, not into an optic nerve just yet; I think it's alright to say "eye" instead of optic nerve... makes it sound more visceral rather than clinical, plus adds an extra dimension to the image.
instead the flaccid penis feels the silver stainless steel
penetrate and flood the blood, unforgiving


By William Marsland.

full critique welcome