01-20-2010, 10:24 PM
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and your honest feedback. I feel that your concerns, and suggestions will most definitely help me shape this draft into a gem. I work in the restaurant business, and sometimes take 2 - hour breaks. So I buy some coffee, and sit in my car. Oddly enough, that's where I get most of my writing done. Was the coffee concept too vague? "Bitter lips sucked down to its hips" I almost feel that the title lends itself more like a map to the concept. Without it I do believe the reader will feel somewhat lost.