06-29-2010, 03:37 PM
I didn't mind the "dear" part so much haha, for me cheesy is okay since it is a love song
Yeah quite a bit of this is cliche but in a song, the strength of the melody can make it work. On the other hand, it's better to have both a strong melody and strong lyrics
I'm wondering if this is a personal story, or did he just make up this story for the song (there really is no dead sweetheart)? Either way, it would be nice to put in a few personal details and personal touches into the lyric. A couple of images here and there, tangential coded details, maybe a hint about the girl and what she was like, or a bit more about how it was when they were together. That way it would be a little less generic. The beauty of a piece of lyric (or poetry) is that you could be very detailed yet still portray something universal
Yeah quite a bit of this is cliche but in a song, the strength of the melody can make it work. On the other hand, it's better to have both a strong melody and strong lyrics
I'm wondering if this is a personal story, or did he just make up this story for the song (there really is no dead sweetheart)? Either way, it would be nice to put in a few personal details and personal touches into the lyric. A couple of images here and there, tangential coded details, maybe a hint about the girl and what she was like, or a bit more about how it was when they were together. That way it would be a little less generic. The beauty of a piece of lyric (or poetry) is that you could be very detailed yet still portray something universal
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?