01-19-2010, 12:08 PM
In some bizarre way, I feel as though you were smiling while writing this. I enjoyed reading this too, but only as far as the poem would let me. I agree with Addy, that there are definately no puches being pulled. Why not? This is a straight shooter to the gut, and as a reader I feel that we don't have enough time to catch our breath before the poem is over. I do like the reverse anthropomorphization of your "bike" though. It's quite witty, almost surreal. The mind is confounded with the love triangle between two men and a bike. I believe it can also work both ways. Maybe a duality of a double feature? I want to feel confused about whether or not this person is simply riding your bicycle, or your girl. I think this needs some abiguity. That's just my opinion though. "Shot my bike through the head." Classic