All About you

[addy]

Of course you can use the line, no problem! You're free to make use of whatever suggestions we can give (or to not make use of it if it suits you)

I agree that this is improved, you were able to put in more imagery.To improve this you can shorten a lot of the phrases (remove "extra" words that only create padding but add no extra meaning to the line).

edited version


You swept on like the wind and I'm left in your wake
With a scrap book left on my lap; Niagara falls falling. "Niagara falls falling" stuck out for me because its theme doesn't match the rest of the stanza. All the other lines in the first stanza talks about being old, abandoned, stuck in a rut. Maybe "Niagara falls falling" should be in a different stanza" for the sake of story progression
I was a book you read, my story became cliche
I was a song that had no chorus, kept playing on replay

I once played a melody now I strum in melancholy, agree with billy's suggestion on phrasing this
I would've said sorry but blue can't turn green I like this line best, the sense of it: its like saying a leopard can't change his spots
You left a map that leads to your discovery
I was your biggest fool, it was all about you

As I see summer fade, and clouds darkening the sky
I'll prepare for the weather without a sigh.
The sun will shine again, and birds will flock North
Flowers will bloom, and kids will return to the pool.
I suppose to tie in the whole poem, you can end with a line that implies that even though things will come back/return as they were as the seasons do, that special person never will. Kind of like a 'some things pass, but some don't' meaning.

Good edit so far