01-19-2010, 10:43 AM
Love how you did it. Didn't pull any punches at all. I like how the casualness almost denies the violence of the act, yet it's still wound so tight in the words. And that ending *brrr*
Maybe you don't need the quotation marks? I think it's clear enough that its a first person poem with someone talking. Other than that I can hardly find fault. Real solid work.
Maybe you don't need the quotation marks? I think it's clear enough that its a first person poem with someone talking. Other than that I can hardly find fault. Real solid work.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?