06-23-2010, 05:24 PM
I adore the image in your final stanza, and I honestly like the progressive description of a sunrise. You could afford to knock a few words out to tighten the imagery.
e.g.
the clouds picked
up more colors:
a dash
of orange
a spray
of yellow
Otherwise, you did very well.
e.g.
the clouds picked
up more colors:
a dash
of orange
a spray
of yellow
Otherwise, you did very well.

