01-18-2010, 12:01 PM
Now that's quality criticism. Thank you for your feedback. I read this out loud numerous times, and I think some of the lines that you pointed out were written as filler for the sake of rhythm. I know it's a bad habit. As far as mounds of venus...hmmm... At the moment that was the best I could come up with. I wanted it to be organic and sensual. Something that could be described both as a landmark and as a hooha. Eh, I'll figure something out. Thanks again man. Btw, I like what I see. I had a hard time navigating, but I think I'm getting the hang of it.