LPiA-26 Nov. 8

[matsunosuperfan]

Rock and Roll / Run Devil Run


Lennon had split up
with Ono when he made
an album of his youth,
the couple reconciling
by the tracks' release,

while Paul had such recourse
by the time he split
with Linda for the first
and only time, breast cancer
cutting her life short.

Dude whatever you're drinking lately, don't stop. This is witty, sharp, engaging, and somehow poignant by the end. Great work with voice and brevity. Maybe some of the lineation could be stronger; I get a few final words that don't feel as important as the form is presenting them to be (made, recourse, first - not bad but "only" seems to deserve the emphasis more).

Strong piece, enjoyed reading it

"By the tracks release" for me the standout line, a wonderful double entendre

Even the somewhat stuffy "recourse" which I instinctively resist, is justified by the distant rhyme in the last line