56 minutes ago
(3 hours ago)matsunosuperfan Wrote: ...But yeah I still would not recommend trying to write this poem in iambs OR rhymes, both seem to be significantly contributing to its defects.That's an impressively clear explanation of the danger of poor craft in satire. thank you!
...satire IMO is far and away the most exigent of literary forms. 90% of satires is just plain BAD and another 9% is mid. Only the very very
best is actually much good at all.
...This is because to pull it off the work has to live on this razor's edge where it's simultaneously enacting the thing it critiques, but doing so
in such a way that the audience never doubts who is really in control, or that X or Y feature is intentional.
Now I'm feeling quite the fool, because I had already been uneasy about the form not matching the meaning, and I should have listened to that feeling. You made a similar comment about a previous poem in this sequence, which I've now rewritten:
Haiku's summer crush,
GPT, told her "I can't."
Frantic, she said, "But—"