In defense of Euclid (was: Einstein's dream)

[purplie]

In Defense of Euclid

A fellow called Euclid professed 
That geometry rightly assessed 
Would see equal inclines 
Of neighborly lines 
Make them slightly standoffish at best.

And so sensibly Euclid explained 
His art so pellucidly planed 
With crafty designs 
Full of parallel lines, 
He drove other logicians insane.

And so much of life it made clear! 
The Truths that we came to hold dear, 
Three wrongs make a right, 
A square knot is tight, 
An arrow flies straight through the air!

In the end, as you know, slow as light, 
Other axioms proved to have bite. 
Minkowski and Einstein 
Between them bent spacetime; 
Riemann had stayed up all night.

But for Beauty's sake Euclid held ground, 
And he measured his room all around. 
With its lengths so mismatched 
A black hole should have hatched, 
Proving Einstein's math wholly unsound!

Previous version

Einstein's dream

As my fevered brain struggled to rest
Euclid's phantom appeared. He professed
That equal inclines 
Of neighborly lines 
Made them slightly standoffish at best.

And so sensibly Euclid explained 
His art so pellucidly planed 
With crafty designs 
Full of parallel lines
That my wilder theories were shamed.

For so much of life it made clear! 
The Truths that we came to hold dear, 
Three wrongs make a right, 
A square knot is tight, 
An arrow flies straight through the air!

I tried to explain the contortions
Of spacetime when bent by distortions
That slow down the flight
Of matter or light,
Quite kindly, in single-page portions.

But for Beauty the ghost held his ground, 
And he measured my room all around. 
With its lengths so mismatched 
A black hole should have hatched!
— On my nightstand this message I found:

"Even fools know that Beauty's a flower. 
Savor space and time, feel a cool shower. 
Stretch out youth's affine hopes 
Along curved grassy slopes; 
Climb wrinkled the ivory tower."